Posts tagged erinwalker
Posts tagged erinwalker
After a bit of maintenance on the blog, sundaynightat8 now features About pages, detailing the stories of our authors as well as the blog itself. So, if you feel so inclined, be sure to check out the newly created about pages:
This is a sine of my love,
So factor out fallen tears,
Double the beats of our hearts,
And subtract all our fears.
Divide your fingers into mine,
Derive every glance that I missed,
Find square root of my smile,
And solve for the length of each kiss.
I want to do
I want the
Fence and the
I want to
For no reason.
I to watch the
I want to
And wrap my arms
And then I’ll take
Like there is
From sundaynightat8, we are happy that a poem hosted by this blog had the chance to not only enter a contest such as this, but we are also thrilled that it was a winner.
From me (Jamie), I couldn’t be more excited. This is the first contest of this sort I’ve ever entered, and it is a real pleasure to see my work appreciated by so many.
So, congratulations to the other winners, and be sure to check out tonight’s poems, which feature the return of one of our other writers/fellow admins, as well as something special from me!
I’ve decided that weekly updates on my main project are just going to clog dashboards and piss people off, so I will say this: it is a work in progress, and I intend on working on it for most of next semester. Apart from that, I’m not going to be doing weekly check-ins, but I’ll still be posting poems and stuff every weekend. Plus, Erin will be here doing her thing.
Also, while you’re here, go ahead and check out the older posts on the blog, there are some real gems in there:
You and me, yes we. Never be, can’t you see? You are free. My heart? Debris. Disagree, my only plea. Priority? My dregree, family, not misery. You get to me, eternally. Set me free, sweet melody. I’ll pay the fee to he or she, to whoever the fuck it may be. Are you kidding me? You can’t see? My lifeless heart, gurney. Just let me be, let me flee. I own my heart but you have the key. Your killing spree, AED. One, two, three. I fall to the ground accordingly. And now you’ve got me on one knee. Physically, sexually, individuality. Capillary, artery, blood flowing like the sea. But our chemistry, plain to see. You matter so damn much to me. You’re clumsy, motherly, but there’s so much pain you won’t let me see. Let us be and I promise thee, that I will make you happy.
Everything is happening in my brain so quickly that I’ll probably misspell a bunch of words or perhaps end up typing only fragments of sentences. If this happens, I am truly sorry. Just know that I’m writing this purely for myself. College life is so fucking stressful sometimes. It’s not even the schoolwork, but then again it is the school work. But it’s not. It could be me. It could be everyone that I walk by every damn day. And now I’m angry. And now I’m pounding down on the keys. And now my roommate is tossing and turning. I don’t give a fuck. And I can feel the blood on the side of my face but I’ll let it go for a little while. I can smell myself, the cigarettes on my fingertips. I can still smell it. 11 minutes. 121 minutes. 1331 minutes. Anita to Sage to Anita to Sage to Anita but Sage is gone now. Why can’t I help you? Gauges need to be bigger but not too big but smaller but now it’s too small. I still feel the blood on my face. Can you feel it sometimes too? The way you get so tempted. And I know it tempts you. You tell me. You told me. And I can’t help you. I try and I try an I try and I try but I don’t. Every one of your scars is just a symbol that I didn’t get there quick enough. That I couldn’t love you enough. That I lost. That you’re losing too. Lost. Every time I close my eyes. This could be. But it’s not. It never was. Up the stairs, up the stairs to the right. No. No? No. It’s to the left now. I remember. Hold my breath until it hurts. Loneliness is bitter. About as bitter as you. Just look at me, please look at me? I turn, you turn. Your everything. You’re everything. We could. But we won’t. I’ll never. You won’t notice. Every day I wait. Every damn day. Legs. Legslegslegslegslegsleglseglselgllegs. The blood is still warm resting on my face. You’ll hold my hand in front of my friends and they’ll think it’s perfect. But is it? What if it isn’t? What if it never will be? The same lyrics. Same song. Same beat. Same rhythm. Same everything. Like a beating heart. Not mine. Never mine. Someone else. I breathe, I ache. I ache within. I ache ceaselessly, but it ceases. 10 years, 20 years, 5 years, 1 year, tomorrow. When? My hands shake, you ask why, I say I’m nervous. Or I’m tired. Or I’m cold. Or I’m everything I’m not. I shake because I’m courageless. It’s real. But then again I no longer know what is real. Ever. Never. Am I real? Paradise. Sometimes I lie motionless. Sometimes I don’t feel I deserve even to move. You think I’m flawless. But in thinking that I’m flawless I become even more flawed. More more more more more more. The bones crack. My bones crack. I close my eyes and scream. On the inside. I can’t scream on the outside. Ever. But that’s all I want. Paradise. Please just look at me. Once. Please. I’m begging. That smile. Those eyes. And yet I’m laying with Sage. And I’m happy. And I’m happy. I’m happy. You’re happy. Goddamn it you’re happy. The song is over. Replay? No. Yeah probably. Hey. You’ll notice. Sometime you’ll see. Someday.